Due Wednesday, March 13, 2013
You are all filled with anticipation for next year and the wonders it will bring you: getting out from under direct parental control, having a bigger social circle, faster Internet, and standing on the threshold of adulthood. All exciting stuff. Mostly good stuff. Now look at what makes you nervous. Is it making new friends, fear that your chosen school will not live up to expectations, succeeding academically, not getting on the tennis team, your roommate, not being able to get Congolese food, taking public transport or doing your own laundry?
Find one thing that keeps rearing it's ugly head every time you think about the wonders that lay before you and discuss it - in brief.
Trust me, I love meeting new people, and anyone who knows me will tell you exactly the same thing. However, I always have a problem envisioning my life with that one girl who I will be living with for my entire freshman year. For some reason, having a roommate doesn’t paint the brightest picture in my mind. When I was still a sophomore, I used to imagine my roommate as someone who would be my buddy, someone who I would gossip and hang out with, someone who would end up being my close friend at the university. However, now that I think of it, there are certain personalities and characters that I cannot stand and that just infuriate me past certain boundaries. If my roommate ends up being a girl that I feel like throwing out the window, I will be going through hell throughout my freshman year, and she will too.
ReplyDeleteThe problem with me is that the slightest things can irritate me the most: For example, how messy you are, where you put your shampoo bottles, if you make me clean up after you, how organized you are, if you sleep more than I do, how talkative you are, who you decide to bring into OUR room and more. If my roommate turns out to be lazy, messy, and a complainer, I promise you that I’ll go crazy. However, writing this has made me realize something. My future roommate might be saying the same thing right now. I guess what I have to do is remain open-minded and ready for whatever suddenly comes at me. I will eventually have to accept her for her true colors, but only to a certain extent. I’m trying to stay as positive as possible because my plan is to make my freshman year unforgettable.
You know, the roommate forms used to be (in my day) "Do you smoke?" that was it. Now they are typically 3 - 4 pages long so you may meet you soulmate roommate.
DeleteI am applying to nine universities in three countries: Switzerland, Canada, and the U.S and honestly, I haven’t paid much attention to the area or student life of each university which is why what I fear most is going to a school that will not live up to my expectations. Think about it, I’ve never lived in the cold or even experienced winter. How will I endure the freezing weather in all three countries? What if I start to hate Cornell because of its dull and isolated area of Ithaca? What if I start to hate Les Roches International School of Hotel Management because of its cold and European style of life? What if I start to hate University of Western Ontario because it’s two hours away from my home in Toronto? What if I hate Ryerson University because I want the campus feel of a university? You see, this is what goes through my head every time someone asks me about my first choice and where I really want to go study. When I tell my mom about what I fear, she always consoles me by saying “Worse case scenario, you can always transfer out.” I mean, I can right? There’s no harm in that. I know several people who have done that before and they’ve still gotten far in life. I guess all I have to do, is go out to university with a positive attitude and hope for the best.
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DeleteThis is a pretty normal fear. You will be fine where ever you land, you are so versatile and friendly.
DeleteMy biggest fear in the whole entire universe is to be alone, that’s right, I just never want to be alone. As a child I had this dream of having a huge house when I grow up so that I can have my whole family in it, that even if I never get married, there will always be someone at home I can talk to and be with and just never have to be alone. Now being all grown up and realizing that I actually can’t wait to get away from some of my family, I’m thinking twice about my dream, so getting married is a must.
ReplyDeleteI am terrified of being alone, whether physically or emotionally, I just never want to be alone. Being alone to me feels dark and empty, and I do not like feeling that way. As you all know that I talk too much, I know I talk too much because silence makes me feel alone, so I talk to fill the void in the air. Being alone to me does not only mean nobody there physically but also emotionally, I would go out of my way to be there for somebody else, it would be nice to have somebody go out of his or her way for me too. When I go off to university next year I am on my own, I have to make new friends, study without being pushed, and be in charge of my life. From that point on I decide what happens next with my life and I am scared that on my own, ill mess up. Being alone or on my own is just a step we as seniors will be taking next year, it’s up to us how we great we make it, at the end of the day you will have no one but yourself to answer to. Again I say I just never want to be alone.
You never will be alone. Your compassion and bright personality will keep you surrounded with loved ones.
ReplyDeleteEveryone tells me “Boston’s a college town” “You’ll have a blast” “College is a party!!!” Woah there! Where does the academic part of college come into play? How do you balance out your schedule? Especially if your someone like me who doesn’t have very good time management skills! The one thing I can’t stop thinking about is succeeding academically. When I talk to TASOK alumni, they all agree that TASOK is an amazing school and has shown them a great time, socially. But they weren’t academically prepared when they landed in the college world. I know everyone is different but if this has come from everyone who has graduated from TASOK, shouldn’t that be something we all should fret about?
ReplyDeleteI get distracted really easily so I know it’ll be tough for me to focus at the beginning. Obviously, there’s a great extent of life other than studying in college, especially in Boston. But where do you find balance? I have a lot of friends who are college students in Boston and they are out almost everyday and night! I’m looking forward to having as much fun as well but I guess what worries me is that somedays I will have to sacrifice a little and miss out on the fun. “Priorities first” is a saying that my parents would always tell me, hopefully that does continue when I become a college student.
Alina, you are academically prepared. You can think and you like to do that. You can, when you choose to, express yourself precisely in writing as well. I've seen you dance and swim, so I know you can focus and work when you have the desire. The cool thing about college studies is that pretty much everything you take (even your core classes) are electives (cores give TONS of choices). As long as you aren't out getting wasted regularly, you will study because you will be interested your classes and want to spend time with the material. Enjoy.
ReplyDeleteMany people applied to 8-12 universities while I only applied to one and luckily i got into it. What i fear the most is to go to university which is completely opposite to what I’m expecting or to manage my time effectively. Just like Alina I am not good at managing my time. Lack of time management is fine till school because there’s always someone to tell me to finish my work but in university it surely won’t work. I need to start learning how and when to use my time. The worst part about managing time in university is that there are so many other distractions which lead to no success again. Like I said i am unaware of the student life in Dubai so I can’t make any assumptions yet but all I want to be able to do is be successful academically and also have experience the fun part at university. Hopefully like every other high school graduate I’ll also learn how to manage my time well enough and succeed in my career plans.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry about career plans yet. Just enjoy your time as an undergraduate. If Dubai uni is anything like the US or Canada, you will not really have problems with time management, because you will have so much free time that you can loaf and still have plenty of time to study and write papers. Now you are incarcerated between 8 -9 hours each day, in uni, you will be in class about 2 - 3 hours and the rest is yours.
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ReplyDelete“Is Delhi really safe for women? How can we protect our women?” These were the recent headlines presented by The Times of India after the infamous rape case, where a 23 year old was gang-raped by six men. This is what keeps rearing up in my head when I think of going to college in Delhi or anywhere else in India. New Delhi is the capital of India yet still every year the rape rates just keeps increasing. Going to college in Delhi or anywhere in India would mean me living away from my parents. Living alone in a city like Delhi at just 18 is not something that is very common amongst Indian families. My parents and I are concerned about the situation in Delhi and its effect on my career. Every day my Dad comes into my room to give a lecture on how Delhi is not safe for women anymore and how I need to learn how to carry myself boldly and confidently with the presence of all the “predators,” he calls them.
ReplyDeleteIt is shameful that Delhi being the capital of India has the highest rates of rape. I am personally a very outgoing person, I love hanging out with friends, just like a normal teenager. However, I feel that I would have to really cut back on all those things once I am in college and plus the colleges themselves have a strict rule about girls staying out late, it is not allowed. I understand that this is a problem everywhere else in the world but India is India. I am not optimistic at all that the orthodox mindset will ever go away. Delhi is not safe at all and I have no idea how I am going to manage. I do not even know if I will get into a good college in India with all the competition.
I'm from the US and I would not go out alone after dark in many places there. There are many places where I would not go alone, even in a locked car, alone in daylight. Sometimes, living here (and in Asia - Taiwan, Korea, China, Singapore) I forget how to be vigilant, but it comes back naturally. You do need to be aware,but don't let the minority of bad people rule how you live your life.
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ReplyDeleteActually at this point I should not be afraid to leave Kinshasa, but one thing that I am really scared of is getting to meet people because personally I will say that it is hard to know me and where I am from? And also the scary part of being able to make new friends. I don’t think that my first one or two weeks will be very lonely because I can already picture myself as being the new freshmen without any friend. As Alina said College is a party, I disagree with that point because how can you party when you do not have friends to spend your time and for me a friend will not be a person that you have only known for the past few weeks, because for me a true friend is someone that will be able to understand you, like for who you are, care for you and personally I can say that it will be hard and especially being the international students from DRC, Kinshasa. I agree with the fact that making friends is an easy thing, losing a friend is normal, and having a true friend is really hard.
ReplyDeleteLoneliness is a very real thing- that's why you need to choose your college carefully. You want a new experience, yes, but you also want to fit in and become a part of a social scene. You are social and will make new friends quickly. And don't underestimate that "DRC" card. People will be enchanted by it, and it can be your way into several groups.
DeleteSome of my classmates wrote that their afraid to get lonely and fear that people would not understand them and, would not want to be friends with them well, then my case is similar to theirs. Am normally a very shy person and people have to take their time to understand me and personally to know who I am. I take time to socialize with people and talk to them. I do not talk much around people I don’t know but people who know me very well say am a very talkative person and can never shut up. Once people get to know me they change their opinions about me and they no longer think of me as a shy and calm person because am not. The only hard part is that people have to take their time to understand me. However, I would not be difficult for me to make friends because; I have already lived in India, know how the people are, and am very comfortable around them and with them. However, let us see what happens.
ReplyDeleteIt does help that you understand the culture you are entering. I, too, have heard that you are WAY talkative once you feel comfortable. I'm sure you will have a great time.
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ReplyDeleteI am worried about not succeeding academically, but I know if I put my mind to it everything will go smoothly. So it is not the academics and not the freedom that are giving me doubts, but rather it is both. My entire life I have hated school and hated studying. It is ironic that I like learning, but I completely dislike school. It may be that I just haven’t found my favorite way to learn yet.
ReplyDeleteI am known for my dilatory character, but I can be diligent when I set my mind to things. This topic of college frightens me because I have set some quite high goals for myself. Going to a school like Boston University or NYU or even Bentley will require me to actually use my time in a productive manner.
Because of this so-called “freedom” that is coming my way, I will probably do what I am prone to do, and that is, do something dumb. This dumb thing I see every time I picture college is dropping out and forgetting about my studies. Because of my past experiences in school, plus my laziness and freedom, I would not be shocked if I made up my mind to leave college for good. Dropping out of school is something I do not want to even consider, but it is something that could likely happen. I know I need an education to get a job and succeed in life, but it is not always about being the brightest. This idea of dropping out of college comes from my creative side. I am banking on my creativity to get me through life. Finally, (for those thinking that I’ll drop out): “CHILL” it is just a personal thought. I didn’t say I was going to physically drop out.
Salman,talk to Mr. Lippart. He too hated school but loved learning on his own schedule. He dropped out of two unis before he found a program that would give him the degree he needed in a style that fit him. check it out. In the US, school is all about proper fit.
DeleteThere are several things that I am crossing my fingers will not happen, but the one thing that worries me most is if I will succeed academically. I know and have heard of several freshmen dropping out of college or getting on academic probation for several reasons, and I’m scared to end up like them. I know that some of those freshmen were more focused on partying then studying, so they probably had it coming. Other freshmen however, just couldn’t handle the workload or let their lack of a social life affect their studies. I have been to several schools, so I know for a fact that the environment you study in not only has an impact on you physically, but also psychologically. If you are extremely unhappy, it will affect your work eventually. I just do not want for any reason fail and have to drop out. Whether it be because it is hurricane season ( And I feel like I am totally losing my marbles)or because I can’t rise to the classes expectations, I don’t want to fail.
ReplyDeleteI just hope that I will be able to rise to my parents, siblings, and college teachers’ expectations and that I will be able to seek help if I ever do need it. I do plan to have fun though, but as many people say (including Alina’s parents) , “priorities first”. In the mean time however, I plan and hope to graduate like all seniors. Once I do, I’ll cross my fingers and hope for the best. I’ll Cross my fingers and hope that all my worries will eventually be washed away once I get to college.
Follow your own heart and worry about meeting your own expectations now. your compulsory education is over - it's all about you now, and you are the only one who knows what you really want and what you are willing to do to get it.
DeleteThis is college we’re talking about, a huge step up from everything we’ve ever known. So many people tell me different things, but I choose to believe the people I trust: my parents. People say it’s a great part of life, and sure, I believe that. But I don’t believe it’s the time to just go off and start new hobbies and find more things to waste my time with. I am going to be busy, with work. I’m trying to start my own life here; I need to start it off well. I will have so much school work to do, all the time. As well as work work, I’m poor and I need money. I can’t be just chilling on the weekends; I need to have an income. I can’t goof off, and waste all this money that I have had to pay for college. My biggest fear is that I will lose focus of what is most important, and even though I have wrote this much about how I need to focus on my work in college, it doesn’t even come close to tying with the most important focus of my life. I don’t mind being homeless if that’s what it takes for me to keep and improve my relationship with Jesus Christ, there is nothing more important. Next, partially because of all the money involved, is the importance of being successful in college. I need to do the best I can to be successful with what God has given me. My biggest fear is messing up.
ReplyDeleteSam, as you point out, your most important focus is your relationship with Christ. That is a major part of who you are and what you are - as long as you keep that in your heart, you cannot "mess up" beyond something that can be fixed. Then there is school and work. Yes, it's a struggle. I worked 25 hours a week in a restaurant (every Sat & Sun, noon - 10PM, every weekend for 4.5 years of school - no road trips, no hanging out) and then did lab hours for 20 hours in the theatre. Still, it was a good time, it was my focus because I wanted to eat and pay rent, and I loved my time in theatre. You will find the same focus and balance for yourself. Stay hungry.
DeleteMy fellow classmates said it all. Going to college and embracing the changes that this new experience will bring is a challenging thought. While, reading about all of our individual fears I realized that it also reflected our personalities. Coming to me, I asked myself what is my biggest fear? I carry my fear ever since the beginning of this year, and it seems to be getting bigger and bigger every time I have to confront it and answer someone’s question. This fear that has been hunting me throughout the whole idea of going to college is whether I will fit in and whether how will be truly happy. Up to now, I still have no idea about where I will be going next year or where I whether I will be accepted. I know I should be positive and confident but at this point I really do not know where to put my hopes anymore and it can be very frustrating.
ReplyDeleteEven if, I was accepted today, I ask myself what if I end up in a college where my life will be miserable? And what if the college I end up going to is completely the opposite of what I read on the website? All this questions are possibilities that freak me out to death when I think about it. Like Farah said, what I fear the most is going to a school where I will not be myself, a school that won’t feel like home, a school that will not live up to my expectations. So when people ask what my top choice is I get nervous and I usually find myself avoiding this question. I still remember when the idea of going to college next sounded amazing but now I also tasted some of the insecurities that go with it. At last, all I want is to go the college of my dreams and spend four memorable years of my life.
Cybelle,
DeleteYou bring up a very natural fear. If you attend school in the US, don't worry. About 25% of every freshmen class change schools at least once. finding a fit is not easy, but you'll know when you've found it. also, start on the websites, but stay in close contact with the people at the school as well - they are living it and can give you the less glamorous version of things.
Going to college or university on itself is a fear because you’d be all alone and you’d have to make friends all over again. That fear is everyone’s, but my biggest fear is going to university and failing every class and getting distracted. Balancing my life has always been a hard and impossible thing for me. I tend to start a lot of things and never finish them. Like here in Kinshasa and this class too. We have to do all these blogs and I start them and then I get side tracked and later completely forget about them. That brings my grade down. What if I do the same thing in university? There are no second chances in university once it’s done its done a due date is THE due date. Can’t ask the teacher to give me an extension on the due date. Also I started play8ing golf and I am really interested in playing golf during university. So I would have to do work and also go play golf. That is what’s going to be hard because until I don’t finish my work I will not go and play golf. If I don’t play golf I will not have any fun which sometimes ruins my weeks. Also if I don’t get to do an activity I might not be able to make new friends. Balancing my life is always hard between my school, work, my different activities, and my social life. I am afraid that I will only pay attention to one or two thing and I will lose the others. Which I would hate to do.
ReplyDeleteSo how do you learn to balance? Choosing something to major in that compels you is a good beginning. It's also a good idea to find a school small enough that the professors know who you are - with 20,000 students you will get lost in the crowd - if you stop going to class or miss an assignment, no one will care - or even know. Choose wisely.
ReplyDeleteWhat scares me the most in college I think, is to me the adaptation to a new country. I have already lived in Belgium when I was younger, and that has not been the best experience, I don’t have nice memories from that time. As long as I remember, what I hated the most about Belgium during the school years was going to school when it was winter; you wake up early in the morning and it is dark and cold. There is nothing worse than going to class with a cold and bad weather; not only do I not like to go to class because I like to sleep but also because the bad weather makes you sad.
ReplyDeleteIn fact I am just scared of being nostalgic and to think about Africa all the time: The hot weathers, all the sunny days, the landscapes, the people, the easy travels from a place to another, the cool life…I do not want to miss all this. Plus people in Belgium really have a different mentality. They are not as relaxed or as helpful as Congolese people. Everyone kind of works on his own there.
Now I do not know if the fact that I am a grown up at present changed the way I see things. Maybe the weather will not bother me anymore. Maybe I won’t be that depressed and I will not miss Africa that much. Plus I’ll still travel for vacations to Africa. So I do not know if it will be a problem for me to attend college in Belgium but it gets me kind of anxious for now.
Sadly, in my experience the older you get the more real the nasty weather gets and the more you resent it. But Ms Pederson is from Minnesota (the coldest place in the entire US) and when she visited there in March, she did say the snow was pretty. And you can snowboard! And work and live in your native language, that must count for something. Keep the memories happy and look forward with eagerness to something new and different.
ReplyDeleteThis is a hard question – what do I fear? Not living with my parents? No, I am going to live with my parents. Making friends? Not, really. I believe I have enough socializing skills. Taking public transportation? That’s the easiest thing in the world! If I have to choose one that I fear…that might me adapting to Korea.
ReplyDeleteWhenever I visit Korea, I feel like I am in paradise where funs, foods and fantasies are present. “Wow, It’s Korea!,” is what I say while others like Hong Ji might say, “Wow, I am back home!” Yes, I have visited Korea last year and the year before, but every time I go, I do not realize that I am “actually in Korea.” Everything just seems fake and I feel like I am dreaming! I am so surprised to hear people speaking Korean and to see so many Asians! How am I going to accept the fact that I am there to live and attend University when I go back?
2 years ago, when my family visited Korea, we were SO LOST. We went into a convenience store and bought a transportation card, but we had no idea how to register for it. (We did not even know that we had to sign up online to use that card!) There were more struggles; I won’t be able to list all of them here! Korea has changed so much that sometimes I felt as I were a tourist not Korean. I hope I don’t get lost this time but act as a person who lived Korea for so long…
Even when home has changed so much since you were last a resident, it's still home - other Koreans, Korean food, the pace of life as you remember it...i feel the same way in the US, but even with the changes, there is a certain comfort of "being home," being somewhere where you just "get" the way people think. No? welcome back.
ReplyDeleteGoing to college is a whole new experience for me and I can’t wait to be living every aspect of it dark or bright. My biggest fear is probably of being all alone. Not friend wise though, because I know I will make new friends that I will be fond off. But I come from a family of many children. I have many siblings older and younger than I. My house is always bustling with all of them coming in and out, a fight at the lower level, loud music playing at the second, make up all over the third level of the house. You can imagine the mess. So it will be a huge change for me going from a loud noisy house, to the calm and solitude of a university dorm. I will have a huge time adjusting to that one aspect of college. I don’t think you ever get to old for company from your family and I’m very attached to mine and maturity and age will not change that. My family means a lot to me and being far from them does look pretty exciting because it will be something new but I fear I might not handle it and will probably be home sick for the rest of my college years. My biggest fear going to college is the Absence of my family’s presence I guess. Thanks the Lord Skype was created.
ReplyDeleteThe tech age does change many things. I remember sending hand-written letters home and getting them in return. About a month between each one. BTW, college dorms are known to be constantly noisy and loud: 24/7.
ReplyDeleteI think I have been preparing for college my whole life, now that I think of it. I am going to Ottawa, Canada for college. Here, are the things people fear of/for the most and the reasons I say I have prepared for college. First thing is living alone and away from your parents. My parents’ jobs make it very hard for us to have them home all the time and so we (my siblings and I) are home alone often, and have to care for ourselves. So I know for that I am pretty good even if some may argue that two to three months without them is nothing compared to a year and more away. The second thing people say they will fear is having to adapt to a whole new environment. Like I said in an older post, we move a lot from a country to another because my parents jobs are not stable and send them all over the world, so I am a plane kid and I am more fluid when it comes to getting comfortable in a new environment and setting, and that also deals with the third fear which is weather. Because I have moved to places, that are very different from each other, it has applied to climate, from cold windy winters to dry arid and right now in tropical humid. I am used to all the different weathers, so going to college with a climate different from the Congo feels more like changing the A.C temperature. Fourth would be meeting new people which I am very good at, because I am outgoing and pretty loud, I am not scared of putting myself out there and opening myself to people, so that is another easy thing I will slip away with. The only thing I fear about college is the amount of academic work we will receive and how I will handle them. I have a hard time with homework in school so I do not imagine what it is going to be like in college. I just hope, I will make through my college years and manage time well enough, to not be subjugated, and overwhelmed at the end.
ReplyDeleteJust remember in college the basic rule of workload is this: 2 hours of outside work for every hour you spend inside the lecture.
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